The SOPA
She takes her ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ and wears the ▬▬▬▬▬▬ while he ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ lasso ▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ gazebo!" repeatedly. At the same time, she ▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ clamps ▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ in a ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬.
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The Nude Year's Eve
When the ball drops, he'll pop his cork—filling her with good cheer.
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The Occupy Snuggie
She's giving 99 percent to get his 1 percent. In this Snuggie, there is total equality.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Very Snuggie Christmas
Some get tipsy with the holiday spirit and egg nog before they do it. Others like to spend some time in church first.
Some prefer it at night; others will only do it in the morning. Some choose to give, and others to receive. Some want lots of friends around, and others prefer to do it alone.
However you choose to celebrate, whatever your tradition, we hope your holiday leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy — inside and out.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Lindsay Lohan
Sure, you could do like today's young starlets and use airbrushing to hide all your flaws when you're in the nude. But the classy thing is to use a Snuggie instead.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Poke
Is it safe? Should you be more private? Do you want to give anyone this level of access to your personal data? Eh, don't stress it: Just start poking.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Balanced Budget
She wants what she's entitled to, and he wants a piece, too. There's going to have to be some give and take, or they're both going to get fleeced — but that's a good thing when a Snuggie's involved.
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The Dirty Martini
Sometimes you're in the mood for something traditional — the classics. Other times, you want to mix it up and do something dirty. Add a splash of Snuggie: it's intoxicating.
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The Cupid
Cupid floats above on wings of fleece. He spies a lady ready for love, and shoots, burying his magic arrow deep within her. Both are overcome with the spirit of St. Valentine.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Valentine to Apple
Happy Valentine's Day, you sweet peach.
I hope that this Valentine's Day finds you even more full of love than ever before. Particularly, for me.
As you surely remember, just a few months back you rejected my advances. I wanted to be with you, and you wouldn't have me. In fact, you stopped talking to me all together.
I don't know what I did to upset you, and I really hope that, on this day of love and adoration, you will reconsider. Take me back. Let me show you the many, many ways we can romance each other. With a Snuggie.
Love,
The Snuggie Sutra
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Valentine's Day
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got you some candy
And a sweet package, too
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Gift Wrap
Stand face to face, nether to nether. Place the Snuggie along his back, but wrap the sleeves and tie them tightly behind her. You're gonna find out who's knotty and nice.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Gobble Gobble
You cleared the Thanksgiving table, and you're just feeling too darn full to do The Tablecloth. There's only one thing left to eat, and it looks delicious.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Charlie Sheen
He wears the Snuggie on his back. For a while he was on top, but now it looks like he's going to hit bottom. He's clearly on something, and he's covering it up.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Matador
She taunts him, he advances — she pulls away. She teases him, he approaches — she lets him go. When she is ready, she takes the bull by the horns. Olé!
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Magic Carpet
When you sweep her off her feet, she'll learn that if she rubs your special lamp just right, it will take her to a whole new world.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Parachute
The eager anticipation. The rush of adreneline. The thrill you feel at the end. Sure it's a risk, but it is worth it. You'll want to do it again and again.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Noah's Ark
And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into thy Snuggie. When you do it by the book, everyone comes in pairs.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Summer Shower
It can take you by surprise. You're enjoying a beautiful day when suddenly, the heavens open up and rain pours down. You and your partner can seek refuge under a Snuggie. It's a great way to get wet while staying dry.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Relief Well
To avoid an embarrassing spill when the pressure gets too great, wrap yourself up in a Snuggie for some fast relief. Using the proper equipment will help protect the environment.
Reminder: The Snuggie is indeed machine-washable.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Sniper Team
She lies on her belly; he wears the Snuggie on his back and covers her. She calls the shot, and he takes aim and fires. Don't worry about the recoil.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Mel Gibson
She faces him, mouth open and ready. He gets to wear the Snuggie, because he f***ing deserves it. It's better if he keeps his mouth shut.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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Seven Minutes in Snuggie
The last 3 and a half minutes are spent cleaning up, since it only takes half the time to get to Heaven when you're wrapped up in fleece.
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it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The King James
You need to be pretty special to pull this one off. Four women lie on four different beds around the country. They each wear a Snuggie upside-down, so that the bottom covers their faces. The man can only choose one, but everyone feels screwed.
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Pitched Tent
She leans down over a picnic table with her arms through the Snuggie's sleeves. He stands behind her, the remaining fabric draping over his broad shoulders. You can take each other to high peaks, soothing valleys, and keep coming back for s'more.
Thanks to Rebecca for the suggestion!
You should order The Snuggie Sutra book today —
it includes more than 85 positions never seen online.
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The Amish Curtain
Clip the Snuggie onto your clothesline. He lines up with one of the sleeves, and she does the same, so that you can make love without ever gazing upon each other's dirty, shameful nakedness. Barns won't be the only thing getting raised.
Thanks to Osirus for the suggestion!
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The Surprise Guest
He wears the Snuggie around his calves and drapes the remainder on the floor. Keep her knees comfortable while she's on your hard wood.
Thanks to BB for the suggestion!
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The Banana Split
She sits spread-legged on the kitchen counter, and he wears the Snuggie on his back. After a good meal, it's always nice to have something sweet.
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The Papoose
He wears the Snuggie on his back and gathers it around her as he carries her. Lightweight, flexible, and easy to carry anywhere, but right here seems just fine.
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The Night In
She puts her arms through the sleeves and reads. She's minding her own business. He is also minding her business.
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The Manket
The man wears the Snuggie on his back and keeps his partner warm. Perfect for long winter nights, cold winter mornings and when your partner is sedated.
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The Horse Blanket
The woman wears the Snuggie on her front and covers her partner with the bottom. Perfect for showing off your moves and when you can't stand to look him in the eye.
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The Yes Ma'am
The woman wears the Snuggie on her back and keeps her partner warm. Perfect for hiding your flaws when you are doing it on a park bench or subway grate.
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The Chaps
The woman wears the Snuggie on her back and covers her partner with the rest. She won't miss a minute of Sex In The City and he won't miss the tattoo of her ex's name on her ass.
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The Cuddly Puppy
The man wears the Snuggie on his front and covers her. She feels warm and cozy like Grandma's house, but still knows who her daddy is.
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The Warm and Snuggie
You both get in the Snuggie together. The Snuggie can go either way, maybe you can convince her to do the same.
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The Tablecloth
She lies on the table. He wears the Snuggie on his front while the bottom end covers her. It's just not a holiday without stuffing.
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The Pigs in a Blanket
The woman wears the Snuggie on her front and covers her mate behind her. Whisper softly while you are warmly forking.
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The Sechzig-neun
One arm and one leg through each of the Snuggie's holes. It's a mouthful.
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The Superwoman
She wears the Snuggie on her back. He holds the other end in his teeth. You are super if you can hold yourself up and keep him quiet at the same time.
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The Rollercoaster
The woman wears the Snuggie on her front and covers him. Hold on, it could be be a bumpy ride.
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The Hi Yo Silver
The woman wears the Snuggie on her back and he holds the bottom. Ride off into the sunset, or stay inside where it's warm.
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About The Snuggie Sutra
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• The Charlie Sheen
• The Cuddly Puppy
• The SOPA
• The Pigs in a Blanket
• The Valentine's Day